writewhenileave

Ok i know its been wayyy to long since a i wrote... so much has happened in that time. but i think i have a pretty clear view of product of this semester

not going to lie. this past semester was by far one of the hardest semesters of my life. Every angle that i could describe to you would have some form of pain/suffering in it. My break was full of busying myself and trying to look past this semester. Trying to not think about the horrible times where i thought nothing but hurt was being done in my heart. 

Why does pain have to be a bad thing? isn't is that we always learn in our mistakes and hardships? but really... is there anyway i can see it as good? 

I think i figured it out. Life, or a bit of it. Im staring at my screen with prob one of the meanest looks ive ever had on my face. Not that im trying, but its the look of me wanting to do something more with who i am. nay, i am done with myself. I have a stir in my heart to care and put my interest in those who do not know the love i have. what scares me the most about this with all my heart and soul..is that i have no idea why i feel this way. ive never even seen this first handily before. there is no intellectual reason for me to be feeling this way, but i do. this so happens to be right before i leave to sa. what the heck.

so im like 4 days away from leaving. I have just realized so much about who i am. and i am so scared because of the responsibility in figuring all this out. 

now what? ..i have no idea. but im excited to find out. 

haha..ill keep you "posted"... LOL